Why good teams sometimes feel harder than they should

And what to do when they do.

You know those meetings where everything looks fine… but feels off?

Everyone’s polite. The work’s getting done. You’ve had a few decent wins.

And yet — something’s stuck.

• The energy isn’t there.

• Decision-making feels slower.

• People are protecting their own patch.

• And the same conversations keep circling, without much traction.

I’ve worked with a lot of teams like this. Smart, well-meaning people. Strong performers, solid relationships.

But somehow, as a team? They’re not quite functioning. Not badly. Just… not brilliantly. And no one can quite put their finger on why.

So what’s going on?

Often, what’s happening is a form of relational drag. It’s not one big issue. It’s the build-up of small, unspoken tensions that wear a team down over time:

• A role that was never quite clarified

• An old power dynamic that still plays out

• Feedback that’s been avoided for months

• A leader who says “we’re in this together” but still makes decisions solo

• People tiptoeing around one another to “keep the peace”

None of these are fatal. But they are friction. And friction costs time, energy and trust.

Things I often ask teams to reflect on:

• Are we being honest — or just nice?

• Is everyone clear on who owns what (really)?

• Do we revisit decisions too often?

• Who do we privately complain about — and what stops us addressing it directly?

• When was the last time we challenged each other well?

These aren’t easy questions. But they’re the ones that start to shift things.

One thing to remember:

The issue is usually less about the people — and more about the pattern.

That’s a hopeful truth. Because patterns can be named, and changed.

And you don’t always need a full team away day or restructure to get started. Sometimes, just having a space to talk it through properly — with someone who’s seen this before — is enough to unblock it.