What's in the Way of Your Leadership?
There was a time when you made yourself a promise.
You wouldn’t lead like the ones who made you doubt your worth. You wouldn’t shut people down. You wouldn’t turn a blind eye to small cruelties. You wouldn’t build a culture that left people counting the hours to the weekend.
You would lead with empathy. With openness. You would create something better.
And for the most part, you have. But if you're honest, there are moments you can't quite explain.
The irritation that creeps in when a team member needs more than you feel able to give. The frustration when high standards slip and you’re not sure whether to step in—or stay silent. The quiet exhaustion of carrying it all so carefully, so consciously, that you forget where you end and the leadership role begins.
Nobody talks about this part.
Nobody tells you that caring can turn into controlling. That kindness, left unchecked, can breed resentment. That good intentions don’t always lead to good outcomes.
It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.
And leadership, in the end, is a very human thing.
The Shadows We Don't Want to See
The most powerful leadership insights often emerge when we shine a light on what we’d rather keep in the shadows. Here are three common barriers that even the most caring, well-intentioned leaders experience:
The Confidence Gap
Many accomplished leaders—even those who appear supremely confident—harbour deep reservations about their abilities. This isn’t just about typical imposter syndrome. It’s the quieter doubt that surfaces at crucial moments: "Am I truly qualified to make this call?"
Confidence isn’t static. It fluctuates depending on context, pressure, and personal circumstances. The key isn’t eliminating self-doubt — it’s recognising it, acknowledging it, and choosing to lead anyway.
Perfectionism’s Tight Grip
Perfectionism often masquerades as excellence, which makes it particularly tricky to spot. We tell ourselves we’re simply maintaining high standards, but underneath, there’s usually fear — fear of criticism, fear of failing publicly, fear of being seen as inadequate.
This fear can show up as:
Overthinking decisions
Micromanaging capable team members
Delaying projects while chasing a version of "perfect" that doesn’t exist
The cost? Innovation suffers. Team morale drops. Results decline rather than improve.
The Burden of Being "Too Much"
Many leaders—especially women and those from underrepresented groups—quietly moderate themselves to avoid being seen as "too assertive," "too emotional," or simply "too different."
This constant self-regulation drains energy that could otherwise fuel strategic thinking, bold leadership, and genuine connection. It also leads to showing up as a curated version of yourself, rather than the whole, powerful leader you are.
The Courage to Look Deeper
What's truly getting in your way might be something you've never fully articulated. Perhaps it’s:
A belief that vulnerability will erode your authority
Fear that success has been more luck than skill
Concern that closer scrutiny will reveal you’re not as competent as people think
Worry that truly delegating would make you less valuable
Reluctance to make tough people decisions because you value being liked
The Path Forward: Nature, Nurture, and Choice
The journey to overcoming these barriers begins with a simple but powerful framework I use with all my clients: Nature, Nurture, and Choice.
Nature: Who You Are at Your Core
Through predictive leadership behaviour assessments, we uncover your innate wiring — the natural strengths and tendencies you were born with.
Many leaders experience profound relief when they realise their natural leadership style isn’t wrong or inadequate. It’s simply been misunderstood — or suppressed by environments that didn’t know how to value it.
Nurture: What Experience Has Taught You
Your professional environments have shaped how you express (or hide) your natural tendencies. The 5Voices methodology helps us identify how past experiences have influenced your leadership — often reinforcing the very barriers you're struggling with now.
Maybe your innovative ideas were routinely shut down, so you learned to hold back. Maybe your ability to build deep relationships was dismissed as "too soft" in a culture that prized results at any cost.
Choice: Your Power to Transform
This is where true leadership development happens.
Once you understand who you are (Nature) and what’s shaped you (Nurture), you unlock your most powerful leadership tool: conscious Choice.
You can choose which adaptive behaviours to keep — and which to leave behind. You can lead from a place of strength and authenticity, not old survival strategies.
Your Next Step
The leaders I work with discover that self-understanding isn’t just insightful — it’s transformational.
It changes how they lead others. It changes how they experience leadership itself.
If you’re ready to look deeper — to uncover what's really getting in your way — I’d love to hear from you.
Comment below or send me a message if you’d like to explore it further.
The most powerful question isn’t "What should I do?" It’s: "Who am I designed to be — and how can I lead from that authentic place?"
If this resonates, you don't have to figure it out alone.
You can take our free 5Voices Assessment or book a conversation — whichever feels like the right first step.
Leadership gets lighter when you truly understand yourself.