Relational Intelligence: Why Self-Awareness Is the Foundation of High-Performing Teams

What Is Relational Intelligence?

Every leader wants a high-performing team, yet many overlook the starting point: understanding themselves.

Self-awareness is not a soft skill. It is a strategic one. It sits at the core of relational intelligence, which is the ability to understand yourself, understand others, and navigate the space between.

At Meraki People, we use a simple but powerful framework called Relational Intelligence. It explains why personality profiling tools such as 5 Voices and Myers-Briggs are so valuable. These tools are not about labels. They are mirrors that help us see ourselves more clearly.

The Relational Intelligence Matrix

Relational Intelligence combines four components that link personal awareness to team performance:

• Awareness – Individual Insight

• Behaviour – Individual Action (or what it is like to be on the other side of you)

• Dynamics – Group Insight

• Performance – Group Action

This framework shows how self-awareness influences behaviour, how behaviour shapes team dynamics, and how those dynamics ultimately drive performance. It connects insights to actions, individually and collectively.

Awareness: The Starting Point of Leadership

Awareness is where effective leadership begins. It is the point where you start to notice your own patterns: how you show up, how you make decisions, and how others experience you.

Most leaders are not short on intellect or intent, but many are unaware of the impact of their style. They know what they meant to say, but not always how it landed.

Self-awareness builds emotional clarity. It helps leaders recognise their default settings under pressure, their blind spots, and their triggers. When awareness grows, so does choice.

Behaviour: What It Is Like to Be on the Other Side of You

Behaviour is awareness in motion. It is what others experience every day.

In coaching, we often ask, What is it like to be on the other side of you?

That question changes the way people lead. Leadership is not only about what you do; it is about how others experience what you do. The space between intention and perception is where trust, morale, and performance are either built or broken.

When you understand your own behavioural patterns and how they interact with others, communication improves, feedback becomes safer, and collaboration flows naturally.

Dynamics: Where Psychological Safety Lives

Group dynamics are the invisible systems running every team. They reveal how people interact, challenge, and trust one another.

This is where Project Aristotle, Google’s landmark study on team effectiveness, provides clear evidence. The research found that the single strongest predictor of high performance was not intelligence, skill, or workload. It was psychological safety - the shared belief that you can speak up, take risks, and make mistakes without fear of humiliation or blame.

Psychological safety does not appear by chance. It is built through relational intelligence. When individuals understand their own voice, respect the voices of others, and take responsibility for their impact, safety grows. People stop holding back and start contributing more fully.

Teams with low relational awareness display predictable patterns:

• The loudest voice dominates

• The quietest voice withdraws

• Conflict becomes hidden

• Good ideas are lost

When awareness and behaviour align, those patterns shift. Meetings become spaces for real dialogue, not performance. Teams begin to hear each other rather than waiting for their turn to speak.

Performance: The Collective Result of Relational Health

High performance is a relational outcome. It is what happens when awareness, behaviour, and dynamics are aligned.

Performance is not only about systems or strategy. It is about people who trust one another enough to challenge, create, and commit.

Teams with strong relational intelligence make faster and better decisions because they are not wasting energy managing ego or politics. They have the safety to challenge each other and the clarity to align quickly.

When individuals understand themselves and take responsibility for their impact, teams work better together, and performance becomes sustainable rather than dependent on individual heroics.

The Commercial Case for Relational Intelligence

Relational intelligence is not a feel-good exercise. It is a measurable business advantage.

When teams develop relational awareness and psychological safety:

• Miscommunication decreases

• Engagement rises

• Retention improves

• Innovation accelerates

• Decision-making becomes faster and more effective

As Project Aristotle proved, psychological safety is the foundation of high-performing teams. Relational intelligence is the method that builds it.

Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram, founders of the 5 Voices model, capture it perfectly:

“Leadership starts with self-awareness. You cannot multiply what you have not mastered.”

The Takeaway

You cannot build a high-performing team without relational intelligence.

Leadership is not about having all the answers; it is about knowing yourself well enough to hear others. When awareness drives behaviour, dynamics improve. When dynamics improve, performance follows.

That is the real reason we use personality tools. Not to define people, but to understand them. To help teams stop talking past each other and start working with each other.

If you want to explore how relational intelligence could transform your leadership team, this is the work we do every day.

It starts with a conversation – and often with one powerful question: What is it like to be on the other side of you?

If you’d like to understand yourself a little better and start this journey, take our free 5Voices Assessment to uncover your Leadership Voice